


Denial doesn't really work

by orphan_account



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Jason & Nico Bromance, canon from a different pov, hopefully
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 08:11:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5659099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico and Jason in Diocletian's palace during House of Hades.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial doesn't really work

“Welcome to Salona,” Favonius said. “Capital of Dalmatia! Birthplace of Diocletian! But before that, long before that, it was the home of Cupid.” 

Cupid’s name echoed through the ruins, and Nico shuddered. Here he had no memories of Bianca and his mother, but the place had the feel of stories hidden in the stone. Pain and fear and love. How fitting. 

“He’s not like that,” Favonius said, almost abruptly. Jason jumped a foot. 

“You can read my mind?”

What, does Jason think of Cupid as a little harmless cherub? The gods are never like that. You’d think he’d know. Juno’s chosen.

“I don’t need to. Everyone has the wrong impression of Cupid…until they meet him.”

Nico shivered. With what I know of love, how can he be harmless? Love. Yeah right. Love is pain. I can’t face it. I’m not ready yet, and I’m sure he knows.  
At his feet the grass died, as if his thoughts were seeping into the world.

“Ah…” Favonius said. “I don’t blame you for being nervous, Nico di Angelo. Do you know how I ended up serving Cupid?”

“I don’t serve anyone. Especially not Cupid.” But he did know. When he had seen the truth of his own feelings, he had looked for a precedent. Somewhere. Anywhere. Something that would make him less shameful or alone. Percy… 

Favonius told his story to Jason, but their voices were tinny and small in Nico’s ears. Favonius, who’d killed for love and bound himself to Cupid to escape Apollo’s wrath. It hadn’t helped him. 

The echoes from Favonius’s words filled the ruins, “Cupid” echoing again and again. So they do know. And here is where it ends.

“That would be my cue. Think long and hard about how you proceed, Nico di Angelo. You cannot lie to Cupid. If you let your anger rule you…well, your fate will be even sadder than mine.” 

I cannot lie to Cupid? I cannot risk the truth.  
Nico glanced one more time at Jason, noting with relief the confusion still on his face. Then the wind god vanished, the ground shook, and Nico was left to regret his resolve. 

So. You come to claim the scepter. 

Nico and Jason stood back to back. Nico’s eyes darted through the air, but still he saw nothing. Jason yelled and tried to fight, as he always would, (“Where are you?”) but Nico could only listen and realize the futility of lying.

Where you least expect me. As Love always is.

One second Jason was standing, the next he was sprawled in the ruins. 

I would think you’d know better, Jason Grace. Cupid’s voice held an almost familiar mocking edge. After all, you’ve found true love. Or do you still doubt yourself?  
We all doubt in the face of love. In that, at least, I am not alone. 

“Are you OK?”

“Yeah. Just sucker punched.”

Does he mean that literally, or metaphorically? Cause love still hits me in the gut every time I see him. 

Oh, did you expect me to play fair? I am the god of love. I am never fair. 

This time, Jason was able to stop the arrow before it hit Nico. Seeing the explosion the arrow left, Nico felt an unfamiliar emotion. Gratitude. Too bad he couldn’t express it. 

“Is this guy Love or Death?” Jason’s voice was strained and furious, and it gave Nico courage. He’s still fighting? I gave up years ago.

Ask your friends. Frank, Hazel and Percy met my counterpart. We are not so different. Except Thanatos is sometimes kinder.

“We just want the scepter! We’re trying to stop Gaea. Are you on the gods’ side or not?” Nico was tired and scared, but above all, he was angry. And he wanted Cupid to know it. 

Love is on every side. And no one’s side. Do not ask what Love can do for you. 

That’s not true. Love is on his own side and no one else’s. Love is selfish and cruel and shameful. At least for me.   
As if Cupid sensed Nico’s thoughts, an arrow hit the ground near him and burst into flame. Nico stumbled backwards, shocked.  
What good is fighting?

“Great,” Jason said. “Now he’s spouting greeting card messages.” Jason swung around, and blood was suddenly on the cobbles. Nico was again oddly grateful. If Jason kept this up, Nico would have to thank him.

Very good, Jason. At least you can sense my presence. Even a glancing hit at true love is more than most heroes manage.

Nico almost snorted. Jason would never know how true that was. He would just plow through like he plowed through everything…how lucky he was. (“So now do I get the scepter?”)

Unfortunately, you could not wield it. Only a child of the underworld can summon the dead legions. And only an officer of Rome can lead them.

“But…” Was that hesitation? Did his voice waver?

“Just leave that to us. Nico can summon-“ A third arrow zipped by, and Jason didn’t move fast enough. It sank into Nico’s arm and summoned up memories of Percy. When they met, their parting, Tartarus…How dare he! 

“Nico?” “Enough games! Show yourself!”

It is a costly thing, looking on the true face of love. My wife Psyche learned that lesson, many eons ago. We met only in the dark, but she couldn’t stand the mystery. You see, she was told never to look on me and so feared I was a monster. One night, she looked upon my true face as I slept.

“Were you that ugly?” Jason, what the Hades are you doing?

I’m afraid I was too handsome. A mortal cannot see the truth of a god without consequences, and so Psyche was cursed. She earned her way back to me, but only with great suffering. 

And Nico knows this one too. He isn’t looking, as Jason gets knocked around, or listening as Cupid talks. And he realizes - that voice is the one he always hears. Right after he manages to convince himself that he doesn’t care for Percy, that he isn’t jealous of Annabeth. This is the voice that always calls hims out, and he hates it. And at the same time he’s glad. Maybe, at least to save Jason, he can face this. Is this him talking, or the arrow? He doesn’t even care anymore. 

“Stop it! It’s me you want. Leave him alone!” Nico could almost feel Jason’s eyes boring into his back. Was he confused, or did he start to realize?

Poor Nico di Angelo. Do you know what you want, much less what I want? My beloved Psyche risked everything in the name of Love. It was the only way to atone for her lack of faith. And you - what have you risked in my name?

“I’ve been to Tartarus and back. You don’t scare me.” But he does. 

I scare you very, very much. Face me. Be honest.

Honest? With Jason here? Me? I could never. No one can know. I haven’t even said the truth, the real truth, to myself. Face him. I’ll only run away.

Around Nico, the ground shifted and broke, but alone among the dead was familiar. “Give us Diocletian’s scepter,” Nico said. “We don’t have time for games.”

Games? Nico was knocked into a pedestal. Love is no game, no flowery softness. It is hard work. It demands everything from you, especially the truth. Only then does it yield rewards. 

Is he trying to say I can heal if I face myself, or - 

“Nico, what does this guy want from you?”

Tell him the truth, Cupid said, and Nico screamed. The dead came up again, but this time there was no comfort. 

Will you hide among the dead, as you always do?

Percy. Nico thought, maybe whispered - he couldn’t tell anymore. Percy on the cliff, Percy’s sword, Percy telling him that Bianca was dead, Percy in the labyrinth, Percy at the entrance to Tartarus and looking back at Annabeth with love and fear, jealousy and fear and shame because he shouldn’t feel like this, it wasn’t supposed to be like this and this time he couldn’t run away…  
Around him, the skeletons finally caught Cupid, but Nico could feel no satisfaction, because he was still talking, still saying things that Jason heard and understood, and he doesn’t have friends, he left Camp Half-Blood because he never would, and he couldn’t stand Percy and Annabeth and the way Percy looked at him - wait. Did he say that out loud?

“I wasn’t in love with Annabeth.”

“You were jealous of her. That’s why you didn’t want to be around her, or him. It makes total sense.” Nico collapsed onto his knees. The dead crumpled and the darkness filling the room cleared. 

“I hated myself. I hated Percy Jackson.” And there was the truth. Cupid suddenly materialized, and did that gaze seem sympathetic?

“I had a crush on Percy. That’s the truth. That’s the big secret.” Nico spat out the words, like they were poison, like getting them out would disassociate them from him. “Happy now?” What is Jason going to think of me now?

“At least you’ve faced me now,” Cupid said. “That’s the only way to conquer Love.” Cupid finally dissolved, leaving Diocletian’s scepter, and a very awkward silence.

What will everyone think of me now?


End file.
